Clichés are often clichés for a reason. They ring so true they are stated over and over again. What you appreciate, recognize the full worth of and be grateful for, appreciates, rises in value.
I grew up in a home that was appreciation-less. There was no expressed or shown appreciation, just expectation, competition, nit-picking on the negative, and my mom’s secret tally sheet that found my dad and I always in the red. This impacted my childhood development in that I’m still learning what I’m good at and that I am valuable, even on my worst days. Although, my inner dialog, up until very recently, would have you and I believe otherwise. It also created a chasm in my parents’ relationship that etched into my neural pathways that love was given only when certain conditions were met. Couples therapists everywhere tout how powerful shifts are made once each partner begins to show appreciation for the other. In a home without appreciation our family decreased in value, literally and figuratively.
Because everything starts with the individual, I am certain my parents struggled with a negative inner dialog and lack of self-appreciation. The good news is, all of this can change. Until recently, how I spoke to myself often modeled the words of my mom. I made a consistent effort to replace that dialog with words of appreciation for me. It may sound strange, but I promise from my own life as an example, profound changes will occur. As you find more in yourself to celebrate, you will draw those to you that see it and celebrate it too. You will also begin to see more in others to celebrate. I’m not sure the science or law of physics behind this, but I can confirm this is exactly how the equation works.
There are many examples of self-appreciation statements. I’ll list out two of my favorites:
• Wow, I’m so proud of all you juggled today, I know it was hard, but you did it.
• I know you’re not feeling so great in your body right now, but I’m so impressed with your physical strength and resilience, keep up the good work.
Or when the negative inner dialog creeps in, just try to switch the focus to appreciation and watch as you find yourself and your life rising in value.
As you are reading something that brings me great joy to create and write, know that I appreciate the time you give to me and this article. Thank you!
What’s something negative you always yell at yourself for? Can you instead find a way to appreciate this? Not sure how, I’m excellent at helping people find the good, email me.
Email Nicole Beaudin at nicole@eloiandstella.com
