Kai and I walked out the other evening to be greeted by one of our neighbors and her adorable tiny white terrier. There was such warmth and kindness. The sweet old terrier even tried to instigate a little play with Kai. It was a wonderful moment. Instantly, I flashed to a week prior when our experience with our other neighbor’s dog was the exact opposite. Not to worry, the dogs are ok. Emotionally, I’m getting there.
Life is full of contrast.
Beautiful awe-inspiring moments interweave with moments of sadness and despair. Conversations can be filled with laughter and tears. Hope can grow in barren ground. We can be angry and yell at God one moment and then have our faith rekindled seconds later, almost as if one opened the door to the other.
Your ability to hold space for this wide spectrum of feelings is where you find your way back to happy.
Unfortunately, most of us didn’t have — understand and learn safe ways to process your emotions 101 — in school. Instead, people often stuff down and avoid feelings, and this is the most unhealthy thing we can do. If you’ve experienced any trauma in your life, you can also sabotage, brush off, and avoid the really good feeling emotions too. You don’t trust them, and you certainly don’t believe you deserve them.
Whatever we don’t release our bodies hold onto, and we can genetically pass on to our ancestors. Whatever goodness we don’t allow ourselves to receive eventually makes us sick, resentful, and empty.
So how do we learn to sit in the discomfort of harder emotions (the good and the bad), allow them to move through and release so we can embrace life in all its beautiful contrast?
It’s important to understand that destruction and renewal are part of the same cycle, and they are an important part of life.
Then it’s critical to not label or judge the emotions or yourself for feeling them. Instead use words that indicate these are just passing through you. And then get curious, what is this feeling trying to show me?
Allowing yourself to sit with the feelings as they arise and reflecting through journaling is another way to empower your understanding.
Sharing what you’re going through with a trusted friend is a proven antidote.
Moving your body and spending time in nature helps release and teaches your subconscious that all these feelings you’re feeling are a part of this beautiful crazy thing called life.
What feelings are you avoiding? What if I told you feeling and releasing it will open up magic in your life? Leaning on a coach is a great way to make this easier nicole@eloiandstella.com.
