One of the strangest things about life is that when we’re used to being unhappy, we have a tendency to fight or not believe it when happy comes.
Have you ever noticed this?
There’s a lot of psychology and neuroscience happening here. We may cling to that unhappy identity so much we’re afraid of what’s behind the armor. We may have grown up in an environment where happy came with conditions and judgments from family so we subconsciously decided that wasn’t a good idea. It could be a control dynamic because if I’m always unhappy the other shoe absolutely cannot drop. Our nervous system was so often dysregulated that it doesn’t trust when things are good because that’s different. Difference in the eyes of the system that ensures we survive equals scary.
The good news is there are a lot of amazing tools to shift this and be one of those happy-go-lucky people that embraces the good when the good is good and has a solid foundation when life gets rocky.
The first step involves getting really curious about yourself. Why do you fear the happy will end? Yes happiness, like all of life, ebbs and flows. Don’t steal from the good just to try and predict and shore up for the bad. Being fully present and absorbing the good for all it is ensures you’re ready when life does what life does.
The next step, which is really a lot of tiny steps, is to work on your sense of self-worth.
Do you believe you are worthy of happiness?
Do you think if the world is suffering, you should suffer too? How dare you be happy when the world is falling apart all around us? Or that you can only be consistently happy if you earn it by a certain set of conditions?
Children are our greatest guides here. Have you ever noticed that they seem to channel happiness no matter what? They also allow themselves to feel and fully release the other emotions like anger and sadness. Just like a storm brings fresh air, so too does releasing these emotions.
Happiness spreads. Its frequency changes the frequency of a room. The lightness it creates ripples across the earth.
Here’s a challenge for you. The next time you feel happy, close your eyes, and really anchor that feeling into every cell in your body. When your mind wants to wander to all the bad things it could, just bring it back for a few minutes. You just recalibrated yourself to a happier life.
Not sure what I mean by working on your sense of self-worth? I have an amazing coaching program designed to support you here nicole@eloiandstella.com.
