I recently read an email in which the head of a company that I really admire talked about her struggles with addiction. It caught my eye because I was surprised to hear this from someone so successful and from such a healthy habits focused family.
That is my judgment and the judgment of the world that I’m constantly working on letting go. Science has found, judgment from others and ourselves makes it harder to release addictions. Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned Canadian physician, teaches that addictions are a symptom of unhealed trauma. He’s found that when we heal the trauma, we heal the addiction. I believe him to be true. Our society just doesn’t make that easy. We always have to take the first step, loving trauma therapists don’t just show up at our door ready to shepherd us home.
The author of the email could not crack her habit of smoking, even though she knew it was unhealthy. Then she saw a hypnotist. Hypnosis is one of many powerful tools to heal trauma and has a high success rate for shifting numbing habits. There are many… overeating, drinking in excess, exercising, shopping, avoiding, game playing, etc. Even seemingly healthy habits can be an addiction, especially when they are used as a means to avoid feeling our feelings or doing the thing we most need to do.
How many of you have gone to the gym or for a long run rather than having that tough conversation?
In coaching we are taught not to judge these habits, although, as I mentioned, I’m still a work in progress. Instead we are taught to bring awareness to them and the why behind them. Why are you having that fourth drink? What triggered you to go there? What are you avoiding feeling, remembering, or doing?
The hypnotist took this a step further. He asked the writer to picture her life one year from that day if she kept doing what she was doing. I’d also ask her to look at how she treats those around her. Does she like who she turns into?
For any of you wonderful readers suffering from an addiction, my heart goes out to you, and I beg you to picture your life one year from now if you keep doing what you’re doing every day. What do you see?
The first step in healing is awareness. Admitting to yourself that this thing you do is hurting you, the quality of your life, and leaving a negative lasting imprint on those you love. I’m still healing from my mom’s addiction to avoidance and my dad’s addiction to alcohol.
The next step is asking for help. There are so many resources. You deserve to heal. nicole@eloiandstella.com.
