Have you ever wanted something but couldn’t seem to achieve it, no matter how hard you tried?
Frustrated you try and try again, only to fulfill the story that lives in your head that says you just don’t deserve this — and that must be why it’s just not happening for you.
I have countless examples of this in my life. From how challenging it was for me to date in my 20’s and 30’s, to how all of my friends got promoted but I seemed to be left in the dust, to now my inability to grow my business in the way that suits my dreams and desires.
I’ve been trying everything, and yet certain things just seem to fall flat. Post on Substack, gain zero subscribers. Post on Instagram, crickets. Go to networking events, meet great people, struggle to get that business leader connection for the coaching I’m being called to do within small to mid-size businesses.
Then someone I’ve known briefly but deeply respect — some people just have that air about them — shared with me some feedback. He asked permission, and I listened with an open heart. I felt it land in my body with a deep knowing. Then I saw moments of my past flash before my eyes, when I had been exactly the feedback he shared with me.
Thud. Ugh.
I hadn’t seen it up until he shared it with me. I hadn’t seen it because it’s a part of me that protects me when I feel insecure, when I feel I have to prove my value to belong. It’s a long embedded trait because I was rewarded and praised for being just this as a child.
My subconscious did it again. This is what fear and insecurity can do. My subconscious is just trying to keep me safe, but instead it is holding me back from executing on my dream life. I did my own coaching work on myself, and then I plotted a prompt in Claude to help me with my writing.
The words you use and how you describe yourself can be an arrow pointing to outdated subconscious beliefs. As I reviewed my recent communication I saw this clearly. No wonder everything was falling flat.
As my words are changing, so am I. I’m struggling a bit at first, but I pause, take a deep breath, and go back and forth until I train myself that this outdated protective packaging is no longer needed.
This feedback has been an unlock for me, and my way back to happy. If you’re curious to know what he said or are ready to see how a coach could help you here, email me [email protected].
