As Valentines Day approaches, the season of love arrives. Retail stores are filled with heart shaped candies, roses, and gifts to express love and devotion. I find it important to learn from those around you. Advice, unsolicited or not, can teach you quite a bit about life. You can find various articles and websites that give you the most important tips for lover or marriage; however, I prefer to get advice from those surrounding me. This year I sought the wisdom of those with experience in life, love, and marriage. My Cupid’s this year? My long-term care residents.
The most popular piece of advice I was given surrounded our emotions. Never go to bed upset or angry at each other. I was told that this piece of advice does not mean that you shy away from arguments or disagreements but rather work through them together. Working together, you solve the issue rather than pushing off a solution until the next day.
This leads me to the next piece of advice I received. Communication is key to a successful relationship. Communication builds the foundation of your relationship, works to improve conflict resolution, strengthens emotional connection, and allows for growth and improvement. One resident shared that most disagreements with their spouse were due to miscommunication and that the easiest way to fix the issue was to talk to each other.
Another important piece of advice was to be your partner’s friend. It is important to know each other, trust each other, and enjoy the time you spend together. Knowing your partner on a deeper level can build a strong foundation for a relationship. Knowing likes, dislikes, hopes, dreams, and everything in between can help partners feel close to each other. Knowing when to give versus when to take and being able to rely on each other is important, especially in difficult times. One resident said “you have to be able to give and take”, citing the importance of being partners rather than just significant others. Along with knowing each other, sharing interests and hobbies can be equally important. By participating in activities or hobbies together, you work to increase the bond you share with your partner. Activities can offer a meaningful activity to do together in a low-stress environment. It gives partners the opportunity enjoy the moment with each other and focus on the current situation.
Lastly, my residents emphasized the importance of trust in a relationship. Trust is an important aspect of any relationship. Trust can bring a sense of safety, reliability, and loyalty to a partnership. Building trust with a partner can allow them to be available in those times when we feel the need to “take” rather than “give”. It allows us to feel safe relying on the help of others. Despite each piece of advice being important, I find that putting all this advice together comes up with the best results. The most important part of all the advice I had gotten was that love depends on a variety of things to make it work, trust, friendship, communication, and partnership.
