As a middle child and a professional mediator, I have always been interested in the work of building agreements between differing viewpoints. I have had the privilege of witnessing disagreements turn into solutions where both parties feel heard, understood, and respected.
The heroes in these scenarios are always the people who assume best intentions, make room for opposing perspectives, and listen deeply with the goal of understanding. When we do this, miraculous things can happen. And people who have walked through that fire together come out the other side with a deeper appreciation for each other.
Feeling heard and understood through a difficult conversation is as powerful of an experience as any I have known. And working hard to hear and understand others, most especially when you initially disagree with them, feels like one of our most fundamental callings, as human beings who are by nature diverse and prone to narratives where things are black and white and we are always the good guys.
Recently, Mountain View has faced a number of issues that have created ripe opportunities for strengthening our bonds across the diverse perspectives in our community. I have always said that I see our diversity as a strength: I believe that with my whole heart. In a small community like ours, we must commit to finding paths toward consensus and increasing our appreciation for each other, not paths that demonize, ostracize, or alienate those with whom we disagree.
An “us versus them” mentality can accidentally take root when there is a particularly emotional issue. I don’t believe people do this on purpose, but I do think it’s a very dangerous, slippery slope. When one side of any issue gets painted as “bad” or as having “selfish intent,” it becomes that much harder to have a truly open dialogue. It intimidates people who otherwise might have had something important to share. I would respectfully ask us all to consider if this is what we want as a community. I do not believe it is.
I don’t believe anyone in our town wants to be at odds with each other. Our recently updated Comprehensive Plan states—accurately, I think—that “Mountain View’s social and neighborhood fabric is its greatest asset.” We want to foster a sense of belonging. We want a town where diverse perspectives are tolerated. We don’t want to alienate or intimidate.
It takes courage to step outside our comfort zones and engage with ideas that challenge our beliefs. It takes courage to invite people with whom we may disagree to share their perspectives with us. It takes even more courage to listen—to truly listen. Yet, it’s through these conversations that we can uncover commonsense solutions and address the best interests of our town as a whole. We must be brave enough to welcome those who think differently and to listen to their stories. In doing so, we not only strengthen our bonds but also empower ourselves to find innovative solutions.
I urge all of us to cultivate an environment of curiosity and compassion, where every voice is heard, and every opinion is respected. This is how we capitalize on our differences and recognize them as strengths. And it is also how we hold onto the uniquely special qualities of a small town that we treasure so much, maintain an inclusive community, and build the brightest future for everyone.
